20th of May, '25

i need to let songs cool off! posted Seven Up which is sort of midi dream pop I was very happy with
but i already want to redo the vox
maybe that's the point of all this: distil my ideas and attempt to make them real more than once each
have also been practising drawing an undressing fox woman in a particular pose >:3

generally feeling like we all made a dare not to take the world seriously
not to invest in its transparently cruel, nigh-on fascist systems
but only i was interested in actually doing that and all i became was a bad example
and everyone else tried to Change The System From The Inside rofl

17th of May, '25

need my work to be erotic and gross, offputting, sticky
have been working on sexy sprite art and imagining all sorts of adult game designs
music is harder to align with it all

16th of May, '25

some nights sound like nothing but this one sounds like mercury evaporating
like ummmm someone left the resonance turned up all the way and trained it through a microscope

15th of May, '25

after two weeks of basically just sketching fur art and feeeling sorry for myself
its time to write my hit single "Toxic Earwax"

12th of May, '25

so thoroughly disillusioned with the NME stuff now
almost every reviewer constructs an in-list and an out-list
and punishes the people on the out-list for what they're good at
trying to smile through a gig review describing the human league as the real deal and ultravox as frauds
like its not good enough to one day just tell everyone king crimson are actually bad and you have to like spizz now
but that the permanent revolution has to be observed
to the point where any amount of experience gained from studying songcraft must be denounced

it changes the nature of my graydnmuch ideas where the local bands and its zines are in collaboration
a 3d art scene encompassing people who are excited about the movement
rather than the actual iconoclasts we got who were -already- bored by indie at its inception

small fucking wonder all these bands were done inside two albums and an EP
selling their labels back to EMI and vowing to fix pop music from inside
the scene that disassembles itself

plus you have that classic uk writer foible where ummm
you run out of useful synonyms for something so you have to start using the offensive ones
its like the music press version of barbarian pulp

9th of May, '25:

i wasnt built to be over 40 lol i just feel like a moron
the things i believe in are so pointless at this age

letting a mushroom inhabit you letting a mushroom inhabit you

kinda inspired to make short songs which are just one dischord after another
reading back through ancient NMEs during the post punk period and they are so dismissive of songwriting it almost hurts
like you put more than two sections in a song and its immediately reactionary progressive rockism or something
that's stupid. complicated songwriting can be really freeing
danny baker is a cunt in particular lol
but so many of the notorious regulars are just like Joy Division Joy Division Joy Division Joy Division
Joy Division Joy Division Joy Division Joy Division Joy Division Joy Division Joy Division Joy Division Joy Division Joy Division

7th of May, '25:

they should put an anal retentive like me in the northern undead asylum

posted "Glasswort", an ambient tune which develops into something worse! wow
things i need to get over: a) general betrayal b) sitting at the mic and then recording the first thing i think of
like the songwriting process is just done before then and now i get to drape whatever mouth noises on the top
to improve it? rarely giggle

6th of May, '25:

its so wonderful to move to another computer and be locked out of all yr shit
all the voidgazing any bright screen offer but without any of the attachments

another way of phrasing that benefit is that i can't log into anything to ask a question

anyway i'm feeling ouchified so all i did was draw some unrepostable furry nonsense

May 4th '25:

i wanna do all sorts of thing with music if i'm able
but I don't wanna do cultural criticism. i don't wanna make art about other art
i follow a few media critics and incisive and thoughtful as they are
they always expand the venture into criticizing the people involved
and eventually into criticizing their extrapolated motives
til it almost becomes vivisection - or at least i can't imagine the artist surviving the review

let's face it i'm stuck in a nostalgic loop right now
and creating something unrelated to what i'm preoccupied with could be the way out
especially gotta stop planning to pay tribute to paid things

anyway it's house work today and tomorrow a visit

May 3rd '25:

thinking about how i always like my voice more when it's damaged from coughing
and spending hours lying about singing single long notes, trying to find the resonant part which fries it without needing to roar
everyone's uniquely inflected throat singing is cool
one of the reasons i got away from caring about prog rock and into caring about punk
is the move away from formality. letting the music sound injured and offputting
i have to put my voice in my music from now on

can I beat Dark Souls with only the vacuum nozzle attachment?
for this run we'll be taking the master key so that we can reach the zanussi showroom early
whereupon we'll find Clerk Martin who has a 4% chance of dropping the cursed dustbag
from there we can simply etc

other than practising and developing the riff from two days ago no music occured to day
that's cool though. auditioning an idea keeps it prominent in yr mind
writing a song doesn't have to take place in the tracker window
anyway I made this little guy for doom, he stabs you in the shins

May 2nd '25:

it's too warm to sleep. just lying here thinking that
the one pagan symbol which really means anything to me
is the hare staring at the moon in naive wonder

and that everyone who has ever stood on the moon
is some hardass ultra competitive arsehole with no imagination

for all I know

the project's about humility, that much is clear
min. quality output, lowest file size, tinny little chip instrumentation
try to progress some forms I like without arms racing the technology involved

spent a while working out a really bad bassline
which mod 7s the factors of various highly divisible numbers
and uses the resulting numbers to pick notes from a prepared scale
an obvious pattern is that they start out chromatic
then flatten to the root as the larger factors tend to be multiples of 7
which might be the opposite effect to the one you want from a solid bassline
but it's fun to see what kind of mess it makes

May 1st '25:

(after staying up most of the night imagining a self-documenting musical art project:)
two hours spent searching for songs ideas on keyboard
ten minutes thinking up the name "dysnothysm"
an hour and a half writing a short module called "idea 010525 - prey animal describing humiliating outlines of its predator"

i'm so good at getting pulled into other people's projects but so bad at considering myself a worthwhile part of them
so I just zone out or get lost early. i like solo ventures. that's just how i am

the force is simply to make things every day with no ambition
one day they'll be connected to old ideas. the next they'll be brand new. the next they'll rip off someone else, i bet

twenty minutes spent drawing this cute beasty: